Sitting during Mass this evening, I was listening to the Readings, and then Deacon Tim's homily and got to thinking about a lot. Sometimes my thoughts come at me like drinking from a fire hydrant. Other times, it's barely trickle of anything out of a frozen tap.
Tonight, I want to share with you something that came to me, and I would love your honest opinion. It's my hope that this draws you ever-nearer to our Sweet, Beloved Lord and what He has done for us.
They took You away, my Beloved! They screamed at You, hit You,
accused You of things You would never conceive of doing.
Their own blasphemies and injustices, they hurled at You, heaping
them on You like heavy stones. Each accusation weighing Your Most
Sacred Heart down lower and lower with each ugly word. Each painful
blow. Then, they put You in a dark, cold, damp cave and left You
there by Yourself. You had no one, my Beloved, no one there with You
to comfort You in Your pain, Your sorrow.
How lonely and cold
You must have felt that night! How isolated and afraid! You turned
to the Father and poured Your Heart out to Him, not just for
Yourself, but for all of us, Your precious children You had come for.
Your friends had abandoned You, but St Peter had followed at a
distance. If he was so far away from you in his heart, why did he
follow You even still? Was it because deep down, he knew he had to
be able to tell the others where You were being taken? Was it out of
a profound remorse for denying You, he wanted to try to find You to
make it right again?
Peter’s actions in
the Passion Story, my Love, his distance from You, it’s clear that
it’s an indication and representation that that’s our own
distance from You, as well. We say we love You with our words, but
our actions scream otherwise. Then, in a moment of remorse, we
return, but we hesitate at the door You left open for us to enter in
to be with You. Why do we hang back, Beloved Lord? What is so
intimidating about love, about grace? About peace? About
forgiveness?
What is it that
makes us so angry? It is the indignance of surrender, the
frustration of losing control. We claim we don’t know what’s in
store for us when we surrender to You, but in fact it’s the
opposite. When we surrender, when we give everything to You, we are
allowing ourselves to just be with You, to let You come embrace us
and keep us safe. The safest we’ll ever be. Why don’t we want
that, Lord?! Because we don’t want the Helping Hand. You paid the
ultimate price to show us Your love and Your concern for our
well-being. Your Sacrifice should’ve been enough, and yet it
isn’t, is it, Lord? It never seems to be ‘enough.’ We always
want more, more, more. But, how much more dare we ask of You, You
who gave Your very Life for us!
What was it You did,
my Gentle Lord, to make us such an angry group of children to hate
You so much?! To reject you so easily?!
My Sweet, Gentle,
Kind Lord… I am so sorry for all that I have done to break Your
Precious and Most Sacred Heart. Please help me to be better, to be a
good witness of what You have done for me, and to be thankful in all
my experiences for what You have given me.
Te iubesc, Jesu. Te
iubesc.
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